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7 Clean Hilarious Church Jokes

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Everybody loves a good laugh. As Proverbs 17:22 declares, “a joyful heart is good medicine.” There’s something about laughter that can restore the soul and provide some much-needed relief from stress and pain. Church jokes placed well within a sermon are a treasure, and the right ones are hard to find but powerful to use.

We know from industry specialists like Propreacher that using humor in sermons can disarm the skeptics, grab attention, and (sorry, Pastor) kill boredom.

Unfortunately, many jokes nowadays are inappropriate. The vast majority of popular comedians and comedy genre movies are full of that type of humor. Many jokes are often sexual, full of foul language, and rely on demeaning other people to get a laugh. This goes against what the Bible tells us our speech should be like. Despite all of this and regardless of popular opinion there are clean church jokes that are very funny.

Using humor in sermons can disarm the skeptics, grab attention and (sorry, Pastor) kill boredom. Find a few quips to add to your delivery on the Church Tech Today blog. Click To Tweet

Here are seven clean but hilarious church jokes:

Let’s enjoy some laughter. [Warning: Some church jokes may be very corny, but that can cause even more laughter. And, don’t forget to leave your own clean joke in a comment below!]

Using church jokes disarms listeners and creates a positive atmosphere

#1 – Wedding White

A little girl finally got to attend a wedding for the first time. While in the church, the girl asked her mother: “Why is the bride dressed in white?” The mother replied to the girl: “because white is the color of happiness and it’s the happiest day of her life today.”

After a little bit, the girl looks up at her mother and says: “But, then why is the groom wearing black?”

#2 – Marriage and Coffee

Shortly after tying the knot, a young married couple started arguing over who should make the coffee. Being a good Christian woman, the wife went to the scriptures for her answer. She said that the Bible specifically stated that men should be the ones to make the coffee.

Puzzled, the husband asked her where in the Bible it said that. Very confidently, the wife opened up her Bible and said: “It’s right here—HEBREWS.”

More creative solutions: 3 Simple Ways to Improve Your Sermon Recap Video Clips

#3 – Solomon's Temple

Where was Solomon’s temple located? – On the side of his head. Duh!

By the way, I did warn you and said some are very corny!

#4 – Adam & Eve

After having children, Adam and Eve started getting a lot of questions from their kids about why they no longer lived in Eden. Adam has a simple answer for this: “Your mother ate us out of house and home.”

#5 – The Sunday School Lesson

During a Sunday school lesson, a child learned about how God created human beings. The child became especially focused when the teacher explained how Eve was created from Adam’s ribs. Later in the week, the boy’s mother saw him lying down on the floor, so she asked him what was wrong. His reply was priceless: “Mom, I have a pain in my side—I think I’m getting a wife.”

#6 – Boaz and Ruth

What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? Answer: He was Ruthless.

More Sunday resources: 4 New Worship Planning Software Options

#7 – The Kindergartener

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom as the children drew pictures. The teacher would occasionally walk around and see each child’s artwork. As she approached one little girl who was working especially hard, she asked what the drawing was.

The little girl told her: “I’m drawing God!”

“But sweety,” the teacher replied, “no one actually knows what God looks like.”

Automatically, the little girl continued drawing and said: “well, they certainly will in a minute!”

Clean Church Jokes are a Treasure

There are many clean jokes out there, including ones based on the Bible, Christianity, and Jesus. We don’t need to rely on the world to get jokes, especially since they are often full of sexual and demeaning content. Instead, Christians should write jokes and material that is clean and funny. There are even some pretty popular comedians out there who are completely clean and family friendly.

So, do you know any clean jokes? Please spread the laughter and include the quips you know (clean ones, obviously!) in a comment below. And, church jokes are a plus. Let’s start laughing.

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CTT Staff
CTT Staffhttps://churchtechtoday.com
ChurchTechToday is the #1 church technology website for pastors, communicators, and leaders. With the goal to provide insight into a variety of topics including social media, websites, worship, media, mobile, and software, ChurchTechToday aims to shed light on how church technology can empower and position churches for impact and growth.

9 COMMENTS

  1. The visiting professor asked class members in his survey class on the Old Testament what the Jews called their uncircumcised children. One eager student replied, “Oh, oh, I know that, but I just don’t remember it right now.” After more pondering, but no responses, the professor gave the answer. “Girls!”

  2. It was Sunday morning. Mass was about to begin and the people were just standing around catching up on the neighborhood news, when all of a sudden, the devil appears in the Church. The people run out of the Church screaming in fear, except for one man sitting down the back. He doesn’t scream, he doesn’t run out, he just sits there. The devil sees him, looks at him then goes up to him and asks him, ” Hey you, do you know who I am?’ The man replies, ” Yes, I know who you are, you are the devil.” And the devil asks the man, ” Aren’t you afraid of me ?” The man replies, ” No, I’m not afraid of you.” The devil asks him why he is not afraid of him, to which the man replies, ” Because I have been married to your sister for thirty years.”

  3. My friend DJ and I were working in his soybean field chopping down thistles when the new Pastor of the local Methodist church drove up. He got out of his car and walked out to where we were working.
    “Good Morning, men. I see your working in the Lord’s vineyard this morning.”
    Without looking up DJ says, “Nope, these are soybeans.”
    The Pastor asked, “Well are you fellas lost ?” DJ says, “Nope, I’ve lived on this farm my whole life.”
    The Pastor continued, “Are you ready for the Judgement Day ?”
    DJ asked, “Don’t know, when is it gonna be ?”
    The Pastor says, “Well we don’t know. It could be today, tomorrow or the next day.”
    DJ says, “Well, if you stop up at the house don’t tell my wife. I got a lot of work to do and she’ll probably want to go all three days.”

  4. The teacher asked children to draw a story from the Bible. Tommy was drawing a picture of an airplane. Ah, a cute mistake on the flight into Egypt, she thought. She asked, “Who’s in the plane?” Tommy said that’s Mary, Joseph, and the baby Jesus. Who’s in the front seat? Oh, that’s Pontius, he’s the pilot.

  5. old jokes do better i allready heard all these jokes from a diffrent person be original!(maby you dont need this page if no ones goiung to go on it

    LAME I SAY LAME

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